Hiatus: 2016 Intentions

I apologize for such a prolonged hiatus, life has been crazy and I’ve been using that as an unnecessary excuse to hold myself back. Even on my busiest days, I generally have an hour or two between jobs that I sit and just fiddle around doing nothing. Sometimes, though, I feel as if I get caught in this productivity loop of researching ways to be more productive and forgetting to address the tasks I really need to accomplish. Over the years, I’ve found that putting my intentions out in the internet keeps me a bit more accountable than when I just keep them to myself. Another thing I fully believe in is setting intentions over setting resolutions. To resolve something means you’re fixing a problem, and implying that something about you is a problem. This bothers me, we should resolve to fix things that we view as problems in ourselves because we’re only human. We’re flawed. We’re beautiful. We make mistakes. Instead, I think we should set intentions to better ourselves. It still involves change, it still involves goals, but it’s not putting the notion into the world that there’s something wrong with you, because there isn’t, you’re a human.

Now that we’ve set that straight, I’m going to share with you the intentions I have for myself in 2016…

Meditation: Minimum 10 minutes daily
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with my 100 days of meditation challenge. The point isn’t that I sit daily, but to create a habit of adding meditation to my life. I think meditation is a very important health measure that is often missed. Meditation has been shown to have a multitude of benefits and can help where modern medicine sometimes falls short.

Yoga: 3x per week
I love the way that yoga makes me feel. I love all of the different positions I can move my body into. Mostly, I love that yoga can balance me even on the days I feel as if I’ll never find my balance again. As kind of a sub-intention, I would love to hit my full scorpion in floor yoga, aerial yoga and whatever it translates to on the pole.

Debt: Cut it in half
My personal debt is currently sitting at $45,803.69. This is a mixture of student loan debt, credit card debt and a car loan. There’s a long story on why I got into this much debt, but that’s a story for another day. In all realities, I want to focus more on paying off $20,000 worth of my debt this year which isn’t quite half, but I figured it was a good number to aim for.

Income: Diversify/Have multiple streams
This is definitely in direct relation to how much debt I want to pay off this upcoming year (well 11 months). Over the next year, I’m going to challenge myself to research other streams of income, work on building my own business, and getting myself into a stable place financially.

These are the 4 biggest intentions I’ve set for myself over the course of the next year and I plan on posting updates, and other various things pertaining to each. I may add in more, but we’ll just take this journey day-by-day.

 

Namaste.

100 Days of Meditation Day 11 & 12: Getcha Head in the Game

The past two days have been rough, I have been really struggling to sit. Today I only made it through about 6 minutes of my session before I gave up in frustration. I really want to create a meditation habit, but I think I’m so frazzled with work that I can’t even seem to calm down enough to sit. Thankfully I have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off of work to unpack and work on relaxing. That’s exactly what I intend to do. So I apologize I don’t have two days worth of thoughts to share, I’ve been barely able to keep still for five minutes.

100 Days of Meditation Day 11: Cut Off

Today I was exhausted but couldn’t seem to fall asleep for a nap after I got home from work. I’ve noticed that I’ve been incredibly lonely recently. I’m missing my little brothers senior year of high school because I’m half way across the country from him. I work all the time so I have no friends outside of work. I’m never down in the city and see friends from college.

I feel like I’m slowly becoming more and more cut off from the world. Honestly none of that has anything to do with my session tonight. There were no words in meditation. Just music today. I sat. I guided myself back when I found myself off track. Nothing special. Guess I have to write today off as a bad day with nothing to say.

Namaste. 

100 Days of Meditation Day 10: head bobbing

I feel like I haven’t really had a break through day of yet. I feel like I’m just sitting in silence for 10-20 minutes at a time. Listening to the guided mediation. I haven’t really gotten to the point where I feel like I’ve made any sort of personal progress with anything.

That all being said. With all the chaos and turmoil I’ve been experiencing between work and the move and not having time to unpack and organize the apartment… Maybe some small daily silences aren’t such a bad thing. I have a nightly meditation to look forward to. At the close of my day I have time to sit down and just clear my head a little. Detach myself from the immediate crazy.

I guess you could say that while I don’t see any outward changes, there is a small inner peace that keeps me anchored in a sea of chaos. On top of that its a small bit of time that I’m completely unplugged and that’s definitely something I need to work on.

I don’t have a lot else on my mind tonight.

Until tomorrow, namaste. 

100 Days of Meditation Day 9: hitting the ground sitting?

So evidently I need to double check that when I post from my phone that it actually posts. This is the second time I had to go find it in limbo… Anyway, this is what I tried to post last night.

Tonight’s meditation was about trying too hard. When I start thinking about trying to hard I start thinking about everything and breaking things down technically. I feel like that defeats the purpose of not trying too hard. I think I’ll have to add thinking too much in to things that I need to set my intentions on.

You know I’ve always heard that meditating makes it easier to handle every day things. I really hope that starts kicking in soon. I feel like I have so much in my plate that I’m juggling extra things in my other hand.

I’ve got a lot on my mind and so I don’t have a lot for tonight.

Namaste

100 Days of Meditation Day 8: Setting Intention

So, I’m on Day 4 of the OMG I can meditate app and while I’m not the biggest fan of the lady that does the meditations I love the method and practice. Today, it was about setting intentions, and my mind just kind of exploded in to a tangent of a million different intentions that I could/would like to set. I seriously have a list about 10+ long of intentions right now, and I need to figure out what to focus on first. Some of these could even be split up even further, in to mini-intentions of sorts.

  • Financial Stability/Debt Snowball
  • Getting back in to working out 5x a week
  • Eating Healthier
  • Better communication skills
  • Be kinder/Do a daily random act of kindness
  • Increase sales at work
  • Move in to a corporate position
  • Finish at least my associates degree
  • Future
  • Family
  • Friends

I swear, I could go on longer and longer. Financial stability, debt snowball, getting out of debt seem to be what hits me hardest. I’ve never liked debt and being in a ton of debt from when I had my health issues and college is something that consumes a large part of my capacity currently. It makes me focus on things that aren’t always what’s most important, like myself and my debt and money, when I should be focusing on kindness.

Is it okay to be selfish with your meditation intentions? Is it kind of like ‘magic’ where you have to focus on good things and not intend it for your benefit… Now that definitely doesn’t sound right. I know you’re supposed to meditate to better yourself, but is setting a personal goal as an intention selfish? Should I alternate between self and non-self meditation intentions? Am I terrible for having so many intentions pop in to my head at once? How do I even know I’m doing this whole thing right?

Sometimes, I still question whether or not I am meditating correctly or if I’m meditating in such a way that it will benefit me. Yet, I find myself sleeping better, and am less anxious to have absolutely everything done on my to-do list like yesterday. Maybe it is working, but in small ways to start. Maybe I’m subconsciously setting my intentions in the order in which they need to be set.

I guess I’ll just have to see where my mind takes me. So far, I seem to be noticing that I’m much less uptight and am sleeping better than normal. I guess I’ll have to be patient and wait for the rest of the benefits to start surfacing.

This upcoming week at work I’m scheduled for the same amount of days but for fewer hours, so I’m looking forward to getting the rest of the apartment unpacked. Maybe that will be my meditation intention for the week, getting my home life organized. I like that idea.

Good night, namaste.

100 Days of Meditation Day 5: Dozing away

I may have spoke too soon about the sleeping thing.. I woke up twice in the middle of the night last night, but didn’t have too much trouble getting back to sleep, so it wasn’t too bad. Overall, my sleep did feel restful, and I guess that’s really all that matters. I have definitely noticed that I’ve been a lot less groggy in the mornings, and that’s something I can totally be on board with.

Anyway, before I start babbling about all things random I’m going to get on with tonight’s session and sign off. I already talked an arm and a leg off about coffee, so I won’t keep you unnecessarily long. Today’s session I just felt like I was drifting off the whole time. I didn’t really find my mind wandering to concrete things, but I just kinda zoned out completely. There really was no focus to the meditation and I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that I did it an hour later than usual or because I’m exceptionally tired. Either way, I don’t feel like I got a whole lot out of tonight, except that it was a lot easier to sit through.

Until tomorrow, namaste